Walkers and Grocery Stores

Okay, any of you who aren't acquainted with my brother, Matt.....well, shame on you.....you should be because he's really funny. ANYWAY, he and I had this discussion several days ago about how grocery store clerks judge customers' purchases. I dare any reader to go ahead and try to deny this because you'll never come up with a convincing argument.....at least not one that will convince one of the Walkers. Anyhow, he's written a masterpiece post about this very thing here, which has only inspired me to tell my tale of this evening. Do me a favor and read his first because that way I don't have to explain the history.

Did you finish? Good. (See.....he's funny, huh?) Now, no one can deny he's right, can they? I didn't think so..... Anyway, so tonight we were in the Tri-cities. We stopped at Wal-mart last and I ran in while Kyle and the kids stayed in the car. I just needed a few random things. Oh, and Matt, I totally used coupons, which just seemed to up the odds in the cashier's mind that I was white trash, but that is SO not the point of my story. Anyway, I was on the condiment row. I grabbed a couple bottles of my favorite ranch dressing because they were on sale and frankly, who doesn't need a stockpile of a staple like that? It's called food storage. Duh. Anyhow, there was this lady on the row right next to me staring at all of her mayonnaise options.....I presumed just trying to decide which was the best deal. She glances in my cart, sees the bottles of ranch, and says, "Oh, you eat mayonnaise right?" Now, there were a number of things tumbling through my head at this point, none of which were polite, so I refrained and simply said, "Ummmm, yeah." (And let me just state for the record that just because a person eats ranch, doesn't automatically mean they devour any fattening food that exists......although I do, but how would she know a thing like that?) She then says (as if the first thing wasn't bad enough), "I thought so. Do you know anything about this olive oil mayonnaise? What are they replacing with the olive oil?" At this point, I'm not sure whether I should laugh right out loud or punch her in the face. I decided against both and with the biggest smile I could muster said, "Oh, I don't know. Probably whatever other fattening thing was in there to begin with." Now SHE laughed right out loud, apparently thinking I was joking instead of what I was actually doing.....using my sarcasm to label her an idiot. She says, "Good point," places the mayo in her cart and moves along.

I just stood there. What on earth would possess a person to judge a complete stranger's character (Dramatic you say? Trust me.....this is what everyone is doing.) by the random items in their shopping cart? And on top of that, what comes over a person to make them actually say it out loud? Sure, Matt loves a good chili dog.....who doesn't? Does that automatically throw him into a category with every other male who EVER goes to his "friendly" neighborhood grocery store? Does the fact that I'm buying two bottles of ranch dressing automatically indicate to the entire world that I simply MUST have a complete knowledge of any food item containing fat? Going into the store, I would've thought that my cart screamed, "Hey, we're out of granola bars and laundry detergent, my baking powder is expired, and Wal-mart has a sale on ranch." Come to find out, that's not what my cart says at all. So, moral of the story.....it's not just the clerks.....it's the other shoppers too. I think I should probably start grocery shopping online.