Diet of the Year

I'm going to let you in on the little secret of how Tanner got the six-pack abs seen below (don't pretend like you don't see them).My entire life I have been a firm believer that dieting is useless. Eating healthy, very important.....limiting WHAT you eat, I don't think so (this is probably why I'm t he kind of person who eats cookies for breakfast). I now have living proof of the validity of my theory. Tanner. Let me tell you how he does this.

So, the other morning, the boys were out washing the vehicles with Kyle. I decided to give Haylee a bath while there was relative peace and quiet (and because I was tired of hearing Tanner scream, "I see Haylee's naked butt!" while laughing hysterically, every time I gave her a bath). I get her out of the tub, wrap her in her towel, and carry her out into the living room (it's because the bathroom is too small for getting ANYONE dressed, in case you were wondering). Well, at that moment, in waltzes Tanner. His "hands are dirty because Hunter sprayed him with the hose." Whatever. He's going to wash them. I got Haylee's diaper on and was getting her dressed when I realized the water was still running in the bathroom. So, I told him to shut it off, knowing full well he wouldn't do it. I combed her hair and held her down while I put in a clip (exciting stuff). Then I walked into the bathroom to clean up the water I was sure was everywhere and to kick Tanner out. But, I'll tell you what I found instead. Sure, the water was running.....but he wasn't using it. His mouth was actually strategically placed below the soap dispenser and he was repeatedly pumping cranberry-scented foaming hand soap directly into his mouth. I yelled. "Tanner, what are you doing!? How much of that did you eat!?" His response, "A lot!" And sure enough, he had. It was completely empty. It had about 3/4" of soap in it prior to that. There were a lot of things racing through my mind at that moment. The main thing was that I didn't think it would be necessary to call Poison Control over hand soap. This was a relief to me since I've had to call them twice about Tanner already. I'm sure they'd remove him from my care if I called again. Why have I called them twice, you say? Well, because once he was eating out of the tube of diaper rash cream and then once he was sucking on the washcloth I was using to scrub the bathtub with Comet. So.....in truth, I ended up thinking that if he threw up it would serve him right. But he didn't. He was burping a lot, and yet I couldn't figure out why he wasn't sick. Kyle explained.

Not even 10 minutes later, Tanner is back outside. Kyle had filled up a bucket of water that he was going to use to clean the windows. It was sitting in the driveway when along came Tanner. I guess all of that soap made him thirsty. I'm sure the dilemna of not having a cup to extract the water with had crossed his mind, but this kid is a problem solver and lucky for him, he was holding his sandbox shovel. When Kyle caught him he was shoveling mouthfuls of muddy water into his mouth. He didn't seem the least bit concerned about the sand or the dirty water or anything. (I'm convinced the mud neutralized the soap). Kyle yelled at him this time. He started crying about how he was so thirsty. The logical thing would've been to come inside and get a cup. But Tanner doesn't think like everyone else. And this is my point.

We all seem to think that we should watch what we eat. I beg to differ. Tanner eats whatever he wants and has the body to prove that it's okay.:) Maybe we should all start eating soap.

I mean, let me reassure you that it's not just about his diet. He's all-around healthy. He gets plenty of adequate exercise.....and he does it in a very healthy, non-joint damaging sort of way. He runs. We all know that running on pavement can be hard on your joints. My two-year old must somehow know this. He never makes the mistake of running on pavement. Case in point: I went into town with Haylee and Kyle was watching the boys. Kyle was occupied and the boys snuck outside. Kyle yelled outside to them and asked them what they were doing. "Playing in the mud in the dog kennel!" Kyle was confused. Our dog kennel is set up on pavement......oh no. He goes outside and not only is Tanner running through the dog poop in the kennel, but he's doing it in bare feet. Frankly, I'm just glad that this son of mine is so health conscious.....and I'm also glad that I wasn't home.

My point is, there are all sorts of theories about our bodies and our physical health. Take it from Tanner, it doesn't have to be as hard as we make it. He's surviving. And look how happy (and fit)he is.