My Grandma

You know, growing up I always thought that everybody had awesome Grandmas . . . Grandmas that they were around all the time, that they liked to be around all the time. I found out when I got older that this isn’t always the case. I learned that sometimes the generation gap is huge and family is merely tolerated. I will be forever grateful for a family that never had that problem. On the 9th of December we lost my Grandma Dalrymple (my Mom’s mom). That loss has left one of those aches that never really goes away. But I can also smile through that ache because of the wonderful relationship I had with a wonderful woman who knew what it meant to love and cling to family. Her heart was huge. And there was never any question that she adored every single one of us. And we adored her. I got asked to write and deliver her eulogy at her funeral . . . and it was one of the greatest honors of my life thus far. I’ve yet to write anything else quite that personally important. I’m posting it here for me because my blog is my personal record too:

I feel incredibly honored to be able to do this for my sweet Grandma. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to find the words that would do her justice and I hope and pray that I have. I was 6 years old when she lost my Grandpa. I remember trying not to cry at his funeral. Grandma told me that it was okay to cry because that just meant that I loved him and that was a good thing. If I can’t get through this very well today my Grandma will know that it just means that I love her and that’s a good thing.

Lennice Ann Wilton Dalrymple passed away on December 9^th, 2012. She was born on September 5, 1936 in Bismarck, North Dakota to William Lyle and Myrtle Anna (Nash) Wilton. She was the third of five children. When she was 6 years old, her family moved from North Dakota to Washington where she graduated from Mabton High School in 1954. She married Walter Allen Dalrymple on December 12^th, 1955. When first married, they lived in Chicago a short time and then spent the rest of their lives in the state of Washington.

Lennice is survived by her daughter and son-in-law, Annette and Stephen Walker; her son and daughter-in-law, Walter and Lynn Dalrymple; Grandchildren Larry and Tricia Schaut, Gary and Amanda Dalrymple, Matthew Walker, Kyle and BriAnne Huwe, Daniel and Amanda Walker, Joseph and Sarah Walker, David and Wendy Holbrook, Spencer and Kimberly Coatney, Emily Walker, and Katie Walker; 16 Great-Grandchildren with one more currently on the way; her brother, Franklin Wilton; her sister and brother-in-law, Karen and Vernon Shear; her sister-in-laws, Lorene Dalrymple and Ruth Black; her brother-in-laws, John Dalrymple and Mel Fox; and numerous nieces, nephews, and cousins.

Lennice is preceded in death by her husband, Walter Dalrymple; her son, George Dalrymple; both of her parents, William and Myrtle Wilton; her sister and brother-in-law, Mabel and Lee Hendricks; and her brother and sister-in-law, William and Patricia Wilton; and numerous in-laws.

My Grandma was pretty shy as a child. She developed a love for reading early on because her mother would read to them so often. This love stayed with her throughout her life and eventually spread to crossword puzzles and the game of Boggle. She was a word genius. Honestly, she probably should’ve been a dictionary editor. Everywhere she’d been you’d find a crossword puzzle book with a pen tucked inside to mark her current puzzle . . . and every time you spent time with her the likelihood of your visit involving a game of Boggle was pretty high. She’d frequently put us all to shame. We’d challenge the words she’d come up with (trying to save ourselves another embarrassing loss, of course), but she’d just hand us the dictionary while reciting the definition of the word. I don’t know why we wasted our time looking up those words, but we’d continue to do it. And she’d continue to snicker.

I asked for memories of Grandma and Shelly shared the following: “Her smile lit up a room.” That sentence couldn’t be more accurate. Grandma was fun-loving, happy, and had a fantastic sense of humor. She was writing a personal history and mentioned a couple of times that both of her parents loved life. She said her dad had a jolly sense of humor and her mom a hearty laugh. That’s one thing she clearly got from them. You could get my Grandma laughing so hard that no sound would even come out. It was obvious that she was laughing and there were tears pouring from her eyes, but all you’d hear was silence. We would all deliberately try to elicit that sort of response. My Mom inherited that trait from her and we’d consider it a double whammy if we could get them both going at once.

Grandma was also practical. If she had a problem, she’d find a solution. When she was a kid, apparently her sister, Karen, talked a lot in her sleep. I guess this would wake my Grandma up . . . and it obviously bugged her . . . because one day she sharpened one of her toenails into a point and then kicked Karen when she’d do it. Problem solved. My little brother, Dan, as a young teenager got a little cocky and was teasing Grandma about his physical superiority. She challenged him to an arm wrestling competition and beat him outright. Problem solved. When my Mom was a young toddler she bit my Grandma. Grandma turned right around and bit her back. My Mom never bit again. Problem solved.

As we were going through photos to make the slide show of Grandma’s life, I couldn’t help but notice how actively involved she was with family. She was surrounded by family as often as possible. Grandma loved having facebook because it connected her to family far and wide. Oftentimes, when we’d just sit and chat and catch up, she’d update me on all of the family news. She’d speak of everyone by their first name only assuming that we all knew exactly who she was referring to . . . and maybe we should have. She deeply understood the importance of family and made sure to stay connected with every relative she knew. Several of my siblings and I served missions. She faithfully wrote to us every single week for the entire year and a half or two years that we were away. My little sister, Kim, served in Switzerland and towards the end of her mission she mentioned that she wasn’t receiving as much mail as she had been. Grandma started writing her twice a week instead. She never forgot Birthdays or Anniversaries. The day Grandma passed away she’d left a facebook Birthday message for her great, great niece Alia. She cared that much. Family was her life.

Grandma loved people in general. And although that’s an all encompassing statement, her love was very individualized and extended to family and friends alike. She could find the good in anyone. And her love was genuine. When her own kids were teenagers, Grandma became a second mom to their friends and cousins. Many of them even called her Mom. When news of Grandma’s passing spread, facebook was flooded with memories of the example that she was to these youth and the profound influence that she had on their lives. Her nephew Bill said that she took him in as a young teenager and changed his life for the better. And he watched her do this with others as well. In fact, she would even take complete strangers under her wing. Emily served her mission in Cape Verde, Africa. One of her missionary companions was from Mozambique and couldn’t receive mail from her family because the mail service was so unreliable between the two countries. Grandma found out and wrote to her right along with Emily. When this companion found out that Grandma had passed away her response was, “Oh, no! Not Grandma!” Even my own friends call her Grandma. The warmth of her soul radiated love to anyone around her and her presence blessed our lives.

A story was shared with me that I was unaware of. Grandma spent two and half years on kidney dialysis before receiving her transplant about 12 years ago. Before she began dialysis she was given an option. She was riding in the car with Susie somewhere and said that she could either go once a day to the dialysis center or she could do the dialysis at home herself three times a day. The second option was a time-consuming and huge hassle. They would mail her all of her equipment and supplies and she was entirely responsible for keeping up on her own care. She essentially told Susie that there was no question. She’d do it herself so that she could still travel and see her family. She would come to our house with a car load of medical supplies and IV pole in tow. She would always come.

Grandma came to live with my Mom and Dad about a year and a half ago as her health got worse. The hardest part for her was being further away from her family in Renton. Every time my Mom brought her up to Seattle for her doctor appointments, she would make sure she tried to see her family. Frank and Karen had done such a good job of making sure that she was taken care of and she couldn’t stand not seeing them as often. Walt and Lynn and Tricia and Gary and their families were all still here as well and she wanted to spend any time with them that she could. And she did.

In 1993 my Grandma served a genealogy mission in Salt Lake City for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. She was there for a year and although we missed her being there with us, she was in her element. Her love for her family and for the gospel of Jesus Christ inspired her love for family history work. Grandma was unable to escort my Mom when she first went through the temple, so it was a really special experience for my Mom to be able to go with her own Mom through the temple for the first time and send her out on a mission. Even when Grandma got back from her mission she continued to be actively engaged and heavily involved in family history work. Temple ordinances were important enough to her that she wanted to extend those blessings to all of her family. We tried to find out how many names Grandma had prepared and submitted for temple work to be done and we were unable, but she currently had 181 on reserve. We are positive the number of souls had easily reached 1,000. Grandma had also been assisting in census indexing for the church to make family history work easier and accessible free of charge to individuals all over the world. We found that total. She had indexed 34,070 names in about 4 years. Her devotion was awe-inspiring. Her eyes were bad enough that she bought a larger screen TV to use as her computer screen. She would blow up the words on her screen to 300% and then sit with a magnifying glass in front of the screen so that she could read and index those names. Her concern for and devotion to those passed on was humbling.

Our family has spent a decent amount of time discussing the greeting that my Grandma probably received on the other side. I imagine a scene filled with the emotion of overwhelming gratitude for all she had done for multitudes of family members. I also believe that her reunion with her son, George, was marked with all of the love that she possessed as a Mother. She waited 40 years for it. And then there was my Grandpa. Her Walt. She always said that when she met him it was love at first sight. I know that the love that they experienced this second time around was far superior. They adored each other. She has patiently waited 27 years to see him. What a day for her. It was a day she deserved.

Losing our Mother, Grandmother, Sister, Aunt, cousin, and friend has been extremely difficult, but one thing has stood out that warms my soul. As I’ve watched my Mom and Uncle Walt meticulously and lovingly take care of her passing, I see the legacy of love that my Grandma left. She took care of a fantastic spouse and raised three amazing children. She adored and spoiled her grandchildren and great grandchildren. She was a faithful sister, aunt, cousin, and friend. She was the glue that held a gigantic family together and she has every right to feel proud of that.

Grandma, we love you. Thank you for sharing your wonderful life with all of us. Thank you for caring so much about this family. Thank you for your smile and your tears and your loyalty. Thank you for the twinkle in your eye and the laughter that you brought into our lives. Thank you for taking us camping and for teaching us how to fish. Thank you for singing when you thought you couldn’t. Thank you for enduring 27 years without the love of your life so that we could have you for that much longer and so that our children could know and love their Great Grandma. Thank you for being cool enough to wrestle your grandchildren to the ground, six at a time. Thank you for all of the service rendered and for letting us serve you. Thank you for believing in God and believing in us. Thank you for your example and your devotion to the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I want to express my gratitude for the feeling in my heart that tells me you belong to us forever. I want to personally thank you for the daughter you raised that became my Mother. You did a fantastic job. Thank you for loving my Dad like he was your own son. Thank you for cuddling my babies and for letting them catch a glimpse of just how lucky I was to have you for my Grandma. Thank you for letting them run wild with your walker and for giving them popsicles and donuts right before dinner. Thank you for singing to them like you did to me. Thank you for being such an important part of my life.

Thank you for being an important part of all of our lives. There’s not a soul in this room who didn’t love you. We’ll miss you more than words can express, but we’ll see you soon. Every goodbye from Grandma was always an I Love You wave. Goodbye for now, Grandma.

All of Grandma’s grandkids at her funeral:

Wendy, Kim, Emily, Tricia, me, Katie

Dan, Gary, Matt, Joey

And one last I love you/goodbye wave to Grandma . . . at least for now.

One of the most sacred experiences I’ve had was helping to dress my Grandma’s body in her temple clothes for burial. I won’t share much of that here because it’s sacred to me, but fear turned to absolute peace. The restored gospel of Jesus Christ is true. Temple covenants are crucial and binding. I will never forget that experience. I know of a surety that my Grandma will live again. As will we all.

I also just want to share some things about my Grandma that are wonderful memories for me. My Granny was a part of my life in a big way. She was there my whole life. She taught me how to fish, she spent my childhood wrestling me and teaching me to pull weeds, she was there when I was baptized and when I went through the temple, she wrote me every week of my mission, she was there in the temple when I was married and spent enormous amounts of time cuddling and loving on my sweet babies. She had a delightful sense of humor and a quick wit. She raised my wonderful mother. My life is flooded with memories of her . . . her always being there. Grandma, I will miss you terribly for now, but will be with you again. I love you!

She had a really special relationship with my little Haylee. Haylee keeps thinking that since the Savior has already resurrected that Great Grandma should be back now. So young, so sweet. What a great reunion they’ll have one day. It makes my heart smile.

Until we meet again, Granny . . .